From the Devil's Daughter, With love

August 5, 2005

So, yes, I know it´s been a month, but we all know you needed a breather from my 5 page emails. However, it is time for some more insight and for some god forsaken reason, this only happens when I transcribe my e-musings.

Last month´s hiatus from everything turned out to be amazing in the sense that I really got to know Santiago, people, and of course, cheesily above all, myself. However, while I can see that this experience has been full blown insanity and total awesomeness, I´m ready to be done in some ways. Well, done so that I can begin other adventures. The last eight weeks have consistently reminded me just how much I need, or rather, everyone needs, adventure, time to find their spirit and just what it is that they are after. Even thought it´s only been two months, and working for AI and living here alone has taught me more than any other two months of my life, I´m ready leave this all as a memory. Actually, as a starting point for other things.

One thing that I hate the most about this city is the people I have to leave behind. It´s insane how we cling to people when they are all we have. When they have been your life for three months, it is hard to let go. All of a sudden, at times, I think about how it will feel to walk around Berkeley and Carlsbad, and know that they were the most important life support for three months, and at the same time, when am I ever going to see them again? Never, probably. That´s probably how it is meant to be. At times like these, I think of my dad, when he would talk about destiny and tell me that you meet people for a reason. The reasons they enter and leave your life to chnge you, tie up some unfinished business, or even, leave some ends loose.

But besides that, I´ve done everything that any foreignor would do. The boys and I went to Valparaiso, Viña del Mar, Cóncon, and Recaña about two weeks ago. I´ve decided that once I get old I have to live in one of the hills in Valpo. Those houses and streets have to be the most amazing things that i have ever seen. it´s like a whole different world. Javi took us to see the typical stuff, the beaches, people, and then his favorite, all the poplar food places for the Chileans. Since we were in the gastronomical capital of Chile...mmmm...mmm. Javi and Nathan and I have been spending a ton of time together and Alvaro and Rodrigo do NOT understand why I could go days and just hang out with two ´´alternative´´ guys. Well, let´s see.. They let me be an absolute diva and pick out clothes for me. Ok, that´s not why I like them (or the only reason). More importantly, J. took us to Tablao, a Spanish/Flamenco restaurant that is hidden on a corner somewhere that has to be seriously lifted out of Spain. The ambience, dancers, and singers were PERFECT. It reminded me of the night of the baby and flameco in Barcelona with Dayna, and how transfixed we were with the dancing. Then, we went to see Mayumana, which is something along the lines fo STOMP! but 100x better. it´s a hebrew troup, and you guys, I swear, when they perform in the US, we have to go see them. Javier called us to let s know he actually got tickets and we were like WHATEVER. That is, until we found out the show sold out in 20 minutes and it was almost impossible to get them. He´s definitely magic. It´s going to be hard to let go of them for a while, but we´ve decided to all rendezvous in the Dominican Republic for a long weekend.

Other than weekend trips, Nathan and I have had to spend some extra time in the office on weekends for the photo exhibition. We had the inauguration this past Monday and it is such a flipping relief to have it done. Nathan did a pretty decent job even though kept telling him a 6th grader could do better. Right now, AI- Chile is trying to get out there and know what the people want from an NGO like Amnistía Internacional. So, there were all these weekend metings, lat nighters and what they came up with is going put on the streets and doing something called diólogo directo. From that, everything that we plan after will have people´s best interest in mind, I suppose. So my last activity/protest/god kno´ws what is on August 30th and we jsut have to wait for the thumbs up from this new team. Should be special. Well, besides that, I´m making a website for the Comisión Ética as I am the youngest by at least 30 years. Also, I´ll send you guys some pictures from stuff we´ve been doing, like the event in Plaza de Constitución for the 119 desaparecidos, Equipo Colombia´s protest for women and children, etc.

Although I´m here and trying the hardest I can to fit in I thought that would never happen in a million years. And in some ways, duuh, I won´t. I hated meeting people at first especially when I told them I was American (they treat you like a queen if you tell them you are from India, they´re obsessed with that place here). I met this French/Chilean guy about three weeks ago who snorted at me when I told him I was from the good ol´ US of A. Now, I know we don´t have the best reputation,. but EXCUSE ME, I am NOT my country. Do you think I would be here if I didn´t give a rat´s ass about the rest of the world? Well, let me just tell you, I think I ripped him a new one (or well, Alexi told me I did). And this last Wednesday, I met a Chilean, a Mexican, and a Columbian (No, it is not the beginning to some dumb bar joke).

At first the Chilean brushed me off because I saw Sandra and of course being the Californian from S.D., I yell out, ´´HEYYY! What´s up?´´ without thinking. But then, for no reason, I switch back to Spanish and the Chilean guy stops, turns around, and just stares like I´m the prize winnig martian. Now, I know my Spanish doesn´t sound too hot, but give me a BREAK! Ok, actually he said I sounded pretty good and not like a gringa. Also, even though everyone says that if you can understand Chileans, you can understand any Spanish from any country, I seriosuly have gotten used to the spanish here. When i was talking to the guy from Mexico, I seriously wanted to bang my head. Every other word was, huey, chinga, or bendeja, and I thought he spoke so strangely. The same with the Colombian (his spanish wasn´t as enunciated as the rest of the Colombians, hew wasn´t from Cali). It so strange then, isn´t it, that you can get used to something so quickly? The rest of the night, I kept getting confused for types of latin americans and never an American or an Indian (YESS!!). It´s probably because Sebastian and I have been hanging out so much. he corrects me, he makes me talk to him about difficult topics in spanish, and now, I can pretty much talk the same rate in Spanish as I can in English. When I come back, I want people to talk to, so, Lety and Diego, be prepared! I think I´m pretty comfortable with the language now, and even though I am nowhere close to perfection, I want to start other languages. This trip has definitely shown me that I do not want to sit around at a desk all day or stick to one job the rest of my life. I really want to learn Arabic (or start to learn it) next year so that i can go live in the Middle East the year after we graduate. I know that seems like it came out of nowhere, but you know, the best ideas come from the weirdest days or lightbulbs that go off in your head. I know that I only have a little less than a month, and so I am trying to make the best of it. We´re going to Mendoza next weekend for the long weekend, and there´s a masquerade ball in the castle at Cerro Santa Lucia which Sebastian got invitations for, I´m going to spend all the time I can with J. and N. and the rest of the guys before it is the end. It´s so frustrating that it takes two months to get used to a place where you finally begin to fit in, make friends, enjoy life, and BAM, it´s all over before it actually started. I think I may even miss the smog...ok, I lie, but still.

Everyday I love it here more and more. I think it´s the combination of the dreary weather, the Andes mountains, the skyscrapers, dingy buildings, the smog, the culture, the ugly mix of european culture and american. it´s just do ugly and amazing at the same time that it feels so overwhelming to be in a place that is so isolated and at the end of the world